i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
