Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
