I murdered the dance floor call the cops
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
