first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize