Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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