this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
