Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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