Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
