I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
