"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
