Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
