He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
