My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
