The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize