Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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