He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
