: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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