so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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