Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize