you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
