well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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