Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
