Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
not ubering you a puppy
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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