Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
