are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize