ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
