i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
