Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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