she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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