You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
