I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
