soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
