I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
