thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
