Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
