so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
