check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
