I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
