well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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