I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
my liver is dry heaving
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
