Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
