she smelled like a LAN party
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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