I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
