You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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