this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize