why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
