You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
