Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
