If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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