I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
