dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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