May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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