think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
