my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize