In the future we'll all be gay
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
