hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize