One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
