If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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